a week of emotionally stress

by Life

I am experiencing a very difficult week

I shed tears and cried almost every night

sigh…

yes it is very hard for me to let go

I am too serious about you

I really wish you would open up and communicate with me

otherwise… I don’t know what you are thinking

I felt really really upset when I asked you questions

you ended up deciding not to respond anything…

you could tell me you needed time to process how to answer or tell me you felt not comfortable to answer

it was much better than leaving me on read

when you left me on read

I didn’t know what you were thinking

I could only guessed maybe you didn’t want to answer my questions…

maybe you didn’t know how to respond so you held on to it?

too many assumptions…

…………..

your no response really really hurt my feelings

I shared with I how I felt

you told me you didn’t have to answer in the timing that I wanted or if you didn’t want to

you have your point

however, I felt the way you respond to me was mean and disrespectful…

I prefer you made it clear and say it out instead of keeping silence

I feel heartbroken ><

I wonder if you treat your love or your friends or your family like this?

how would you feel if I treat you the same way?

sigh…

feels like I was your toy…

when you like it…

you would text me sweet words that made me feel you were trying to get closer

when you didn’t want to open up…

you would keep it silence and push me away

you really really hurt me this time…

Being hurt again 😢

by Life

I don’t understand what this person is doing…

First of all, I thanked God for giving me a chance to talk with this person again last week

I believe it is from God

He made impossible to become possible

thank you God

Indeed, I do not know what the intention is

I do not know what you are thinking

but surely you made me want to ask you many questions

I did not know if I should really ask you…

you told me, “just ask”

alright… I sent you a list of the questions I have

then… I got no response…

you left me on read…

do you need time to think how to answer?

is it hard to answer my questions?

what is that mean??

I don’t understand!!!!!

I want to know and understand what you are thinking

I want to know and understand what you are looking for

however, you made me feel like you refuse to open up and communicate to me

yes… I felt hurt again

I felt hurt every time when you left me on read

I did not know how to talk to you…

I am not happy in these two days…

you made upset…

I can do nothing but leave it to God

may God help me, reveal and answer me the questions I have in His timing

give me strength to have faith and believe in You

and give me wisdom to communicate with this weird guy

Amen~

First Week of January

by LifeWork

a recap of my first week of January 2026

PTL everything seemed okay but not exactly lol

Work

on Monday, IT team helped take a look at our in-house large printing machine

according to them, there is an issue in the printer itself

which means… we need to find a way to replace it…

other than that, everything is okay

thanks God I was not busy at all

so when my coworkers told me that they have an urgent protect that need me to help design

I am available to spend time doing it

Life

my daily life over the week was as usual, very normal

but I am still in a healing process

over the week, even though I was okay during day time

I could smile, laugh, be positive etc.

I was quite down at night

especially after I turned off the light and laid down on bed

I cried again….

I realized that I cried every other week

sometimes I still asked God why it happened this way…

why I was not able to be with the person I love etc.

I still thought a lot of the joyful and sweet moments I had in this relationship

I still thought about him every day

however, I have started wondering….

I wondered if I really miss him or I only miss the idea of him…

when I got to work this morning

I saw a purple Tesla again

to me that’s omg

but I am still willing to keep my promise

every time when I see a purple Tesla

I will pray for him

it is my promise to God

however, when I am able to let it go

I have no idea…

but I have to believe that with God, everything will be alright

thank you God

You are always here with me

please heal my heart

help me let it go and move on

make my heart ready and open to meet a new relationship

may God bless, Amen~

Happy 2026

by LifeSpiritual

Happy New Year!!

I can’t believe it’s been 2026 already

that means half decade has already gone…

sometimes I wish time can go slower lol

as of the beginning of year

of course, there are few goals I would like to achieve throughout the year

Goal 1: Get closer to God even more

may God be my first place in my heart

in Matthew 6:33

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

this year, may I learn to pray for God’s kingdom and righteousness before everything

Goal 2: Healthy / Weight Loss / Doing Exercise

one of my new year resolutions last year was doing exercise

but I completely failed…

it’s really hard to motivate me once I stopped doing exercise

however, as my weight keep getting increased… ><

I have to do exercise for my health!!

otherwise… I will become chubby again

this year, I am planning to get a gym membership (still planning, not execute yet)

if I purchase a membership

I hope it motivates me

let’s see~

Goal 3: Letting Go

I’m still in a healing process with my previous dating

few days ago on 12/30

my coworker asked each of us to share what we would like to forget about one of the things we did in 2025

I shared I would like to forget about a relationship

my relationship with someone I want to love

in fact, it doesn’t mean that I need or have to forget about this person or the things we did

yes I might still remember him or this relationship

but to my definition

forget about means when I think about it

I won’t be too emotional

I won’t cry hard every night

I won’t feel hopeless

I let it go (I am still in the process)

I do not stay at the same place waiting forever and ever

I am able to start taking a step forward

when I can do this?

I have no idea

but with God, I know I am able to

Goal 4: Cleaning Up my Living Area

… it’s embarrassed to say

I hate doing housework

but this year I need to try and motivate myself to clean my bedroom and bathroom often

in addition, I don’t know if I am able to

I might want to decorate my bedroom and bathroom a bit

let’s see

my last wish

if God allows, may I be able to meet the man You prepares for me this year

this man will finally become to be my boyfriend, my husband, and the father of my child

yes… sometimes I struggle if I would have a chance to be in a relationship, to get married and to have a child

I will be in my mid 30s

I am not a young lady anymore

I want to be in a relationship

I want to fall in love with someone I like

I don’t know when this day will come

I cannot imagine there is such day…

but now

I know I have to get closer with God first

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Dear God,

may this year be a fruitful and blessed year

Amen~